Still heading for a duvet disaster
28th June 2012
I’m sure that a couple of years ago I read about a woman poised to make a fortune after ‘inventing’ a three-sided duvet cover.
I wanted to chase her round the bedroom, hug her tightly and be first to contribute to her potential new-found wealth. Not, I should stress, because it was the potential PR coup of the year - nor that I fancied her. But she appeared to have resolved a lifelong challenge.
Her idea was not exactly for a three-sided duvet cover, which is difficult to imagine, but one which would open on three sides to make it easier to insert the duvet.
Don’t laugh! It’s an issue which I have wrestled with, literally, ever since my wife first delegated changing-the-bed duties to me the week after we married.
I think it amused her to see me lift the cover over my head and disappear inside with the duvet only to emerge red-faced, breathless and unsuccessful several minutes later. I’m not convinced she knows a better method. 25 years on she still watches me struggle.
During those years, I’ve terrified visiting children who think they’ve seen a ghost as I stagger about shrouded in the cover and our pet cat hid in the garden for several days after a shock encounter.
I know it is not just a personal problem. Even wikiHow (yes, it does exist) has some web advice on how to tackle the task - although too complex for me to follow.
Meanwhile I’ve seen nothing more about the three-sided duvet cover. Maybe it was just a dream – while my nightmare continues.